how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
