Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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