i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Holy sore nipples Batman
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
