Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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