its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
