Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
