she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
