tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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