i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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