Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
