You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
