Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
