I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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