At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dicks are not precious.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
