I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize