This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
