why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
