woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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