brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
