woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
