Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
