Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
