wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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