These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
