I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
