i don't like sucking hair
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sex in a hospital.. check
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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