she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
