Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
