I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
