shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
