So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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