Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
