Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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