I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
