Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
