i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
