and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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