he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
