it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
