My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
