I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
