I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
