I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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