I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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