how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
