I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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