so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All the doctor said was why
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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