I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I would fuck him just for his dog
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
