i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
