I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
high people should be assigned attendants
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
