you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
