im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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