let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
